Make A What-Not-To-Do List

Make A What-Not-To-Do List

I remember reading an interview with Richard Herring about how he and Stewart Lee came up with their sketches for the show Fist Of Fun.

I can't find the source material so you'll just have to take my word for it.

They made a list of all of the themes, jokes, ideas, etc, that were commonplace in sketch comedy at the time, and decided to proactively avoid using any of them. It became their what-no-to-do list.

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The Gentlemen & The Beggars

The Gentlemen & The Beggars

It seems that a lot of filmmaking (at my level) is about applying for funding. It's a little like panhandling. Holding out your little copper tin asking for some money from a group of complete strangers to get some nourishment.

The problem is there are too few funding bodies and too many panhandlers. Each time you apply for a scheme you hold your breath, wait two or more weeks to hear back, and the odds are, that you haven't won. Ouch. Aspirations hurt much?

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GOMAD or why train at all?

My fitness goal this year was to put on 5lbs of muscle. 

Easy right?

Well you'd think so.

Since the start of the year I've been doing four gym sessions a week and I've been eating like a pro. Chicken, turkey, tuna, sweet potato, brown rice - all the good stuff.

When I weighed myself at the start of the year I was 11st 5lbs, and when I weighed myself a month ago I was ... 11st 6lbs. 

Jesus Christ. All that hard work for what? One pound?

You could argue, that I was losing fat and gaining muscle, but this wasn't good enough for me. I decided to take the next step ... the GOMAD diet.

What the flip is a GOMAD?  It translates to a Gallon Of Milk A Day. That's 8 pints! 

What happened?

One month later I jumped on the scales and I was ... 12st 4lbs

That's nearly a whole stone. Obviously it's not a stone of pure muscle. It's likely a mixture of muscle, fat, and water, but with a bit of cutting this next month, the results should be a little clearer. 

One evening my girlfriend caught me struggling to hold down a particularly eggy mouthful of milk. She said 'why are you putting yourself through this? Just to look better?'

'No, not at all,' I said.

I'm not a vain person. I'm a balding twenty-six year old with a patchy beard and a poor sense of fashion. I'm not lifting for vanity, so why then?

I've come to realise that lifitng is a metaphor for life. 

If I'm not willing to go to the gym, not willing to lift some weights, eat some raw eggs, drink some milk, then I'm wasting my time. If I'm not willing to do these relatively simple things, then who the hell am I to want to do bigger things in life? I have to do this, to prove to myself that I can do more.