MØ44: I'm thirty today!


Morning Øutput #44


Today I turn thirty years old. I finally got hit by the big three-oh. Which, weirdly was the name of the horror novel I wrote last year. I think my subconscious was telling me something.

How old do you feel?

That’s a question people ask sometimes. Me? I feel about thirty. 

Remember… age isn’t everything.

I know it’s not, but it’s a pretty good measure of how many years I’ve been alive. I feel thirty… and that’s okay.

Although I did I clean my room yesterday. Not only that but I gave it a good deep clean. I whipped the mattress off and everything, hoovered all the nitty-gritty bits. That’s not something the 29-year-old Luke would’ve done on a Sunday afternoon so maybe I am different. Maybe I’m a man now.

I remember when time didn’t mean anything. The first few years of my life seem like soup to me now, but I do remember the exact point at which time started to mean something. 

It was the first day back at school in 1995. My second year of primary school. Back then we used to write the date at the top right-hand corner of every page of our exercise books. I remember this exact moment because I wrote 1994 by accident. It was the first time in my life that I realised that time was finite and that the years were going to keep going now. There would be a 1996, a 1997, maybe even 1998. It was the first time in my life I felt the gears grinding as they shifted. It was my first existential jolt. I was seven.

Here’s what my seven-year-old self would ask my thirty-year-old self.

7 - Why are you like this?

30 - Why am I like what?

7 - Why are you not an action hero?

30 - Well there’s not really a market for action hereos, you know… there was a recession-

7 - And where’s your hair!?

30 - Wow, that’s to the point. Well, let me explain something called male pattern baldne-

7 - You have money, right? You have like… billions of pounds. 

30 -  Err... not exactly. 

7 - So… what’s good about you then? What's the point of you?

30 - Simon Pegg once gave me a Jaffa Cake.

7 - Yeah. Cakes are good I suppose. But who the fuck is Simon Pegg!?

Okay maybe the seven-year-old Luke wouldn’t swear. But he had aspirations, I’ll give him that.



I finished the new draft of KEITH and it’s pretty good. I’ve got a list of bits I want to go over and fix but it’s so much better than that piece of crap I wrote two years ago. A lot more focused, a clearer character arc, some genuinely shocking moments. At least I think so.

I also just finished a short story for the Theme Parks theme of TOS. It’s a little crime story about a contortionist called The Amazing Kieslowski. Named after but not about one of my favourite film directors.

The advance copies of Take The Corvus are DONE and DUSTED. They are currently available exclusively for my patrons. Dan asked me what my goals are for that book and I said, “Well definitely not to make bank.”

I wanted to put together a book that underlines these last five years of my writing. Something of a portfolio piece, I guess. But a portfolio piece I’m happy to shove into people’s faces and say - “This here is me, fucker!”

In other news, They Rot went on a freebie giveaway over the weekend and hit number one of all free Post-Apoc books on Amazon.com. Considering there’s like a gazillion books on there, I think that’s pretty cool. Oh yeah, and The Other Stories is up for Best Fiction Podcast over at ThisIsHorror.co.uk. Go check it out and give us a vote.


Birthday Presents

If you did want to support me and my work, or maybe give me a little birthday gift, here are some ways to do that.

  1. Become a patron over at Patreon.com/Lukeofkondor
  2. Buy a book
  3. Subscribe to one of our podcasts
  4. Leave a review for a podcast or a book.
  5. Or just drop me a message and say hello. 




The Cloverfield Paradox: It was okay. My friend, John Lees, put it best in his review - "A perfectly fine mid-tier exercise in sci-fi suspense."

Role Models: Remember when before Paul Rudd was amazing? No. Me neither. I've been in love with that guy since he showed up in Friends as Mike. My fiancée says I have a man-crush. It's not a crush if it lasts forever.

Sinister: Apart from the jump scare fodder, there's something really effective about Sinister and it's better on second viewing. Those little snuff films creep me the hell out. That lawnmower, guys, that fucking lawnmower.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri: Good but a little janky in places. I still think McDonagh's got a fantastic track record and I can't wait to see what's next.

The Cabin in the Woods:  One for Horror Hangout. An absolute blast. A pitch perfect meta-horror comedy.


Mountain Home by Bracken MacLeod:  Absolutely solid little novel. It actually sits right at the 4 1/2 mark for me. The story bounds along and has some really lovely touches. The idea of the Kreewatan was fantastic. Joanie's little flashback was heartbreaking. Oh, and the author has a very cool name. Which is most of what I look for in a novel.


This wonderful collection of music from the recently deceased Jóhan Jóhannsson.


Okay I'm currently in the middle of my birthday and I'm supposed to be chilling so I'll leave it here.

Until next time,

Luke & Family