The bald man shouted at me so hard I could feel his breath on my face. Which was weird, because I was stood at the other end of the street.
“Free taster at Bodeans,” he bellowed. “It’s tasty, it’s incredible, and it’s free."
He was so focused on shouting and getting the message out that he didn’t seem to notice the pedestrians wincing with every word that exploded from his mouth.
I turned around and went the other way.
A young asian girl holding a stack of flyers down by her side.
As I pass I see her mouth move but I don’t hear anything. She seems too timid to hold a flyer out to me.
I might like whatever it is she's promoting, but I never find out what it is.
And that's that.
The pouncers are the ones in the shops. The ones who stare at you. They keep their eyes locked until your eyes meet theirs.
“Hi,” they say, seemingly polite.
“Hi,” you say. Big mistake. You’ve engaged them. Now they pounce.
Cut to forty minutes later and you’re trying something on, being given the price list, thinking of ways to get the hell out of there.
The three methods of promoting stuff.
I don’t particularly like any of them.
When it comes to my work, books, films, whatever, I have no idea how to do it.
I don’t want to shout, whisper, or pounce.
How does one spread the word when they hate word-spreading?
P.S. Go pre-order my book.